


Let Me Make It Better

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, Feelings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, It Makes Sense When You Read It, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nerd Harry, Sharing a Bed, discomfort with broaching of personal boundaries, like physically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 04:00:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11478183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Dan's house was large and spacious, but there were still only five bedrooms for a family of, what would soon be, nine.  The division seemed quite simple, in Louis’ mind.  Mom and Dan would obviously get the master suite, Lottie and Fizzy would share the largest room with Phoebe and Daisy getting the next largest, the newest twins would get the smaller room that was closest to the master suite, and Louis would take the smallest room right beside the bathroom since he didn’t have to share.Lottie and Fizzy vehemently disagreed.Or the one where Louis was seven years old when he moved in next door to Harry, but now that they're in their senior year of college, everything is starting to change.





	Let Me Make It Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyLondonderry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLondonderry/gifts), [haloeverlasting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haloeverlasting/gifts), [kikikryslee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikikryslee/gifts).



> Sooooo these three amazing people all have had birthdays in the past week or have a birthday coming soon (like tomorrow), so HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRONDS! Thank goodness the amazing [B](http://haloeverlasting.tumblr.com), [Ange](http://flamboyantommo.tumblr.com), and [Emmi](http://londonfoginacup.tumblr.com) all had similar tastes when it came to their requests for birthday fics so I could easily make a fic that hopefully all of you will love! Even if you don't, please know I tried :D . I hope your birthdays were and are amazing! Love youuuuuu!!
> 
> This fic was also written as part of an ongoing challenge. We each select random numbers and are given a specific emotion from the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names. To read the other fics written in this challenge, [click here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ShortFic_Challenge_For_Which_There_Is_No_Name/works), or you can find the masterpost on tumblr [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/159679804243/1000-feelings-for-which-there-are-no-names-prompt).
> 
> My prompt was 608: the rage at your little sister's lame arguments for who gets what room in the new house.
> 
> The title for this fic comes from Make It Better by George Shelley, which everyone should listen to because it's a lovely and uplifting and happy song. 
> 
> And last but definitely not least, biggest thanks go to [Molly](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) for betaing for me and dealing with my ridiculous need to be grammatically correct even though most people don't care for some details like I do, as well as to [Tin](http://silentlarryshipper.tumblr.com) for being the best cheerleader and always reassuring me my writing isn't shit. Now that this author's note is as long as the fic is, enjoy!

Louis was seven years old when he moved in next door to Harry.  He was seven and his mom was pregnant with a little sister, she said, and Mark was going to marry her and adopt him and they were going to be a family.  All Louis cared about was that his next door neighbor had awesome big wheels.  They bonded over this love and spent the rest of the summer playing on them together.  

Harry became Louis’ escape as his house slowly became overrun with sisters.  They were great, he loved them, but there were just.  A lot of them.  All the time.  Babies were cute and all, but they made sleeping difficult, especially when there were twins and the walls were paper thin.  Harry’s mom let Louis sleep over often during those years, sometimes even on  _ school nights _ which of course proved to them that they had the best moms ever.  

It was during these sleepovers that Harry shared that he didn’t like being touched by most people.  That hugs from his mom were okay, but that in general he needed his own physical space to exist in or he felt like things were closing in on him and he couldn’t control it.  Louis obviously felt horrible for the possibility that he added to that, and withdrew most of his physical affections, limiting himself to the occasional grip of Harry’s shoulders to let him know he was there, or a touch on his arm to direct his attention to something.

As they grew older, Louis became Harry’s protector as well.  Harry grew up loving the outfits worn by the various doctors on Doctor Who, which his grandma got him hooked on, and he often emulated their dress.  This resulted in his wearing what was decidedly nerdy attire: pleated trousers, dress shirts buttoned almost all the way to his neck, and sweater vests.  Harry wouldn’t be Harry, though, if he didn’t give it his own dose of style, and the way he did that was by adding thickly gelled hair to subdue his curls and thick framed glasses that were far too large for his face.  This didn’t do much for endearing him to their fellow classmates who had a hard time looking past outward appearance.  Louis found this unacceptable and therefore took it upon himself to be by Harry’s side as often as possible so he could help support him as needed.

Best friends, supporters, protectors...and then the teenage years hit, and they hit hard.  Harry, even with his penchant for all things overly nerdy, grew out of his “cute” phase and into his drop dead gorgeous self.  Louis always knew he was a good looking boy, but it wasn’t until that baby fat began to make way for the longer, more gangly and broader version of his best friend that Louis finally realized his attachment to Harry wasn’t totally friend-like.

Louis finally came to terms with, and admitted to himself that, he only liked boys at the same time that Harry whispered that he didn’t even care so much for the clothes he wore anymore or the way he styled his hair, but that he did it because it was comfortable.  That, on the rare occasions he went out without the full ensemble, it had garnered him so much attention that he couldn’t handle it and he preferred to wear them as a protection for himself.  A way that he could know for sure that people actually liked him for him, like Louis did.

A few months later, Harry admitted that he thought he was gay too, but would probably always be too shy to do anything about it anyway.  Louis was okay with that, if he was honest with himself.  The only boy he was really interested in was Harry anyway, so he was happy to know that they’d forever be single together and that would be the closest it would ever come to them being together.  There had been a time, right after Harry came out, that Louis thought they could be together, but if Harry  _ still _ wasn’t comfortable with physical touch from Louis and they’d known each other for around ten years, that wasn’t likely to happen.  It was okay.  Louis was more than happy to love Harry in the ways he was able to.

It had been three years since Louis realized he was  _ in love _ with Harry.  They were seniors in college and had lived together since freshman year.  It was perfect and Louis was pretty sure life couldn’t get better.

Which brought him to where he was now.

When Louis was eighteen, his mom and Mark finally separated.  They probably should have earlier, but Louis was just happy they finally realized it was best for everyone to just admit it was done and leave.  It was hard, but Louis did what he could to support his family even while leaving for college.  

A little over a year after the divorce became final, his mom had met Dan.  Dan and his mom clicked in a way Louis had never seen before...outside of him and Harry (but maybe that didn’t count because they had been seven and big wheels really were that important).  They became serious quickly and had decided it was a good time to get engaged and move in together, especially since she was pregnant.  With twins.  Again.

(Louis was very happy to know that he could love those babies from afar and get sleep in his own bed this time around, but he’d never admit that to anyone but Harry.)

Dan had a massive home, thanks to his incredible job doing something with finances that Louis probably never would fully understand, so the family was relocating to live with him, even if that meant more people moving their belongings.  Today was the day that the kids were finally going to go and claim rooms officially since their stuff was being brought over that afternoon...and therein lay the problem.

His house was large and spacious, that was true, but there were still only five bedrooms for a family of, what would soon be, nine.  The division seemed quite simple, in Louis’ mind.  Mom and Dan would obviously get the master suite, Lottie and Fizzy would share the largest room with Phoebe and Daisy getting the next largest, the newest twins would get the smaller room that was closest to the master suite, and Louis would take the smallest room right beside the bathroom since he didn’t have to share.

Lottie and Fizzy vehemently disagreed.

“Why do you even need a room here to begin with?” Lottie argued.  “The last time you slept at home outside of Christmas Eve night was four years ago!”

Louis scoffed.  “I’m still in college, Lottie!  I work on campus over the summers and breaks as well!  But in less than a year I’ll be graduated, jobless, and likely with no place to go but back home!”

Fizzy laughed.  “Whatever, Louis.  You’d hate coming back here after school.  Besides, we’re both teenagers now and deserve our own space like you had!”

“Yeah, exactly!  We’re practically women, now.  Why shouldn’t we get our own rooms when yours would just be sitting empty for months and months anyway?”

Louis could feel his rage and frustration growing.  “First of all, don’t you dare tell me that my thirteen and fifteen year old sisters want to be called women.  You’re still way too young for that shit.”

“Language!” Louis’ mom called from downstairs.  How the hell did she do that?  

“Sorry!” he yelled back before turning back to his sisters.  “But seriously, you guys.  Why don’t I deserve a room too?  The only reason I had my own as a teenager was because I was literally the only boy in the house.”

Fizzy rolled her eyes.  “Don’t forget dad.”

“Like he even counts, he was hardly home at that point,” Louis fought back.  “Anyway, you’re seriously telling me that I don’t get a room?  Where am I supposed to put all my stuff?”

Lottie and Fizzy made eye contact and looked a little guilty.

“Oh my God.  You’ve already talked about this,” Louis said in disbelief.  “My own sisters actually went behind my back and planned this attack in order to oust me from a room!”

“We just really want our own space, Lou!” Fizzy said at the same time Lottie cheerfully suggested, “There’s plenty of space in the basement!”

Louis blinked at them.  “You want me to keep my shi...my  _ stuff _ in the unfinished basement and just...what?  Sleep on the couch whenever I come home?”

“It’s not like it will happen that often anyway,” Fizzy pouted, crossing her arms in front of her.

“Oh, come on, Lou.  Don’t be so dramatic,” his mom interrupted.  He turned around and saw her finish climbing the last few stairs so she was on the second floor landing.  “They  _ do _ have a point.  You’re hardly home, and you have such a cute little place with Harry.  Don’t even try to pretend like you two are going to move back home after school finishes.  You practically lived together in high school anyway, so I doubt anything is going to change there.  Just let them get their own rooms and we’ll figure something out for your birthday when you’re home.  Alright?”

Jay fixed him with a pleading gaze, and he couldn’t say no to a pregnant woman, especially his mom.

“Fine,” he agreed, but immediately tears began to form and he knew he had to get away before he thought too hard about why he was crying over a stupid bedroom.  Or lack of one, he supposed.  “I’ve gotta go, I have a shift in a little bit.”

“Bye, darling.  Are you and Harry coming by for dinner on Sunday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Louis confirmed, as he rushed down the stairs, only tripping on the last step due to the tears.  Luckily he was able to catch himself and get out to his car without being caught by Dan or the twins, and he rushed back to his apartment to fall apart in peace.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Louis really hoped Harry was home.  Actually, he kind of hoped Harry wasn’t home so he could cry and figure his shit out before having to unload on an unsuspecting Harry, but he also just needed a hug.  

God, not that Harry would give him one.  Harry wasn’t comfortable with that.  But maybe he’d give Louis a really nice...pat on the shoulder?  Fuck.  Louis would take whatever he could get, if he was being honest.  What he really needed was his friend to assure him that he did have a Home, even if it wasn’t his mom’s anymore.

Was he even making sense?  He called their apartment home, but at the same time, his Home with a capital H had always been his mom’s house.  It was where he went when he was sad or having a rough time with school or needed to celebrate...most of the time.  Actually, now that Louis got to thinking about it, the first person he called when something like that happened was Harry, not his mom.  And he’d run to Harry’s room or Harry’s house to find him before then going and escaping to his mom’s house.

Not that it mattered.  Harry didn’t see Louis like that and Louis needed to remember that.  Keep himself in line.

Remembering all over again that Harry still didn’t care for him the way he cared for Harry sent Louis into a bit of a tailspin.  Luckily it hit right as he parked the car so he was able to cry it out without worrying about driving off the road, but he didn’t have tissues in there, so he was a snotty, red-faced mess by the time he had calmed down enough to walk into their apartment.

Luckily, it was quiet and didn’t look like Harry was home, so Louis allowed the door to slam shut a little harder than he usually did before hiccuping another sob and covering his eyes with his hands so he wouldn’t have to see a reflection of himself in the framed photos Harry had hung along their entryway.

“Lou?  Oh my God, what happened?”

Hearing Harry’s voice just caused Louis to start crying harder, though he did pull his hands away from his face.

“I...I just…”

Harry immediately stepped forward and, after only a moment’s hesitation, wrapped his arms around Louis.  Louis felt Harry completely surround him.  He smelled the shampoo that used special essential oils to keep his hair soft and as it tickled Louis’ nose he realized it must be a home day for Harry, because he hadn’t gelled his hair and was wearing an old pair of Louis’ joggers with a faded band tee.  The Harry who didn’t feel the need to hide behind his clothes and hair gel was Louis’ favorite Harry.

“It’s okay.  Shh…”  Harry kissed Louis’ head and whispered into his ear as he soothingly ran his hand up and down Louis’ back.

Louis eventually was able to calm his breathing and even though the last thing he wanted was to pull away from Harry, he knew Harry was only doing this because Louis needed it.  The last thing Louis wanted was to risk pushing Harry away by making him uncomfortable when he’d just lost his safe place with his mom.  

Louis pulled away a bit, but Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the apartment.

“Let’s wash off your face and then you can come to my room and talk it out, okay?”

Louis nodded and followed, trying not to trip over his own feet.  He was so tired.  It was a deep exhaustion that ran through his entire body and threatened to overwhelm him all at once.

“I’m just so fucking tired.”

Harry hummed in sympathy and wet a washcloth with cold water before wringing it out and gently swiping it over Louis’ face.

“My mom used to do this for me when I was little.  It always helped me feel a little better so I was more ready to talk.”

Louis could admit that he was already feeling a little more alert, even if he did feel like his legs would give out at any moment.  Harry tossed the washcloth back into the sink when he was done and grabbed Louis’ hand again, leading him to Harry’s bedroom this time.

“Come on, Lou.  Let’s lay down like we always used to when we would tell each other our secrets.”

Louis chuckled for the first time since he’d realized what his sisters were doing.  “You want me to lay on the floor while you poke your head out from your bed, cover us both in a sheet, and call it a tent?”

Harry rolled his eyes.  “I’m not nine anymore.  We can lay in bed beside each other with the blanket pulled up and it’ll be just as effective.  We can stay on our backs if that makes you feel any better.”

Louis bit his lip and nodded.  If he couldn't cuddle Harry, lying amidst covers and pillows that smelled like him would hopefully provide the comfort he desired.

Once they were situated with the sheet covering them and both of them curled up on their sides facing each other, Harry reached over and rested his hand on top of Louis’.

“Tell me what’s wrong?  Please.  You really have me scared with how you were crying.”

Louis pursed his lips and avoided the concerned look on Harry’s face.

“No one died, no one is sick or anything.  It’s not a big deal really.  It’s just...God I feel like such an idiot for reacting this way!”  Louis closed his eyes and tried to move his hand from beneath Harry’s, but Harry grabbed ahold of it and laced their fingers together instead.  Rather than questioning it, Louis held on as tight as he could.  “Mom and the girls moved in with Dan today, right?”

Harry nodded warily, his eyebrows furrowed.

Louis stared down at the blue chevrons printed on Harry’s sheets as he said, “Well, it’s a great house, lots of room, but uhm.  It doesn’t have enough bedrooms for me, apparently.  I...dammit!”  Louis flipped onto his stomach and hid his face in Harry’s pillow.  “In order for Lottie and Fizzy to get their own rooms, I won’t have a room to call mine at the new house.”

Harry paused the soft, soothing touches to the back of Louis’ hand and Louis wished him to resume, but tried to be patient.  

“Hold on.  Lou, roll over, please.”

Louis did as requested and instead of laying on his stomach, he flopped onto his back and let go of Harry’s hand in favor of smashing the sheet directly against his face.

“So you won’t have your own room at your mom’s?  I mean, that kinda sucks, but like, you don’t really stay there anymore.  Is it really that bad?”

Louis took deep breaths and tried to control what he could feel was another onslaught of tears.  “Yes, it’s that bad, Harry!  I had the knowledge that even if I don’t make it, or mess up, or things just get fucked up, I always had the chance to move back home.  I had a space there, a room that was mine that I could go to if needed.  Now...it’s just my mom and Dan’s house.  My family’s house.  But it never was mine and I don’t even have a claim on a bedroom, just some space in the basement for all my shit.”

The tears were flowing freely again, and Louis’ shirtsleeves were seriously disgusting from wiping at his nose and eyes so much.

“I just...I don’t really have a Home anymore, H.  What am I supposed to do if I need to go Home?”

Harry peeled the sheet away from Louis and grabbed a tissue from his nightstand.  He gently dabbed at Louis’ cheeks before grabbing a fresh one for Louis to use for his nose.  Once Louis had his face cleaned up, Harry looked Louis in the eye and said, “Then you’ll come to me and we’ll figure it out.”

Louis threw himself into Harry’s arms again, and cried himself to sleep.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Louis blinked and found the room was pitch dark, the only light shining in from the hallway.  Shit, his eyes were really swollen.  He’d have to put a cool washcloth on them when he actually went to bed later so he could open them enough to get to class in the morning.

Only then did his fuzzy brain finally process a few other details quite a bit more important to him than just his swollen eyes.  

He was still in Harry’s bed.  He was wrapped around Harry.  And Harry was wrapped around him while snuffling softly in his sleep.  It was actually quite adorable how young he looked with his curls free and his face so relaxed.  It made Louis think back to when they were in high school and Harry was only just starting to grow.  

Louis had just raised his hand to brush it through Harry’s soft curls when his brain finally clicked into place and started working at full capacity.  

There was no way Louis could run his hands through Harry’s hair!  He shouldn’t even be cuddling with him like this!  Harry didn’t feel that way about Louis and Louis was probably just making him uncomfortable by cuddling with him like this.  Oh God.  And they’re in Harry’s bed.  Harry was going to freak!

Louis couldn’t allow that to happen.  He’d already lost his home with his mom today, physically speaking.  There was no way he could lose the only other home he’s ever had, which was anywhere Harry was.  Shit.  He had to find a way to pull out of this before Harry woke up and saw what Louis had done, all because he was having some stupid fucking meltdown over losing a bedroom at his mom’s.

Louis slowly pulled his leg back from between Harry’s.  Once he was sure Harry hadn’t been jostled enough by the movement to wake up, Louis began to slowly scoot himself backwards.  That movement was enough to cause Harry to startle at least a little, though, because his arms tightened around Louis’ waist before pulling him even closer than what he had already been previously.

Harry’s breath evened out, and Louis allowed himself to ease his arms back around Harry.  Harry nuzzled into his neck, his breath causing goosebumps to erupt all over.  If Harry was reacting like this in his sleep, then could there be a chance?  Had Louis misinterpreted what Harry had meant all those years ago?  He didn’t think so, but at the same time, Harry did enjoy the comfort physical touch like hugs or cuddles gave from his mom, so it wasn’t impossible to say he could grow to be comfortable with such things from Louis too.

Louis bit his lip.  He really should wake Harry.  He didn’t want Harry to wake up and regret the things he had done without even realizing it.  This was all Louis had wanted for years now, but if it meant giving it up so Harry could remain a constant in his life, he would do it.  

Louis took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut.  He wanted to memorize this feeling of Harry in his arms before he had to end it.  He tightened his hold a little more and just as he had gathered the courage to speak, he heard a quiet, “Louis?”

Louis froze.

“Harry?  Are you awake?”

Louis’ mind was reeling.  Harry didn’t feel tense in his arms, so either he was still asleep or he was awake and okay with this.  Or, okay enough to not be freaking out anyway.  What did that mean?

Harry breathed out a laugh before saying, “Of course I’m awake.  Have you ever known me to talk in my sleep?”

Louis pulled back enough so he could see Harry’s face.  His dimples were out and his green eyes were shining.  God, he was the most beautiful man Louis would ever meet.

“No.  Not ever,” Louis responded, probably far too fond for the occasion.  

Harry’s sleepy smile deepened.  “So why would I start now?”

“I dunno.  The same reason you’re suddenly okay with me touching you now when you never were before.”

Harry searched Louis’ face, bringing all of Louis’ insecurities to the forefront of his mind.  What did he see?  Was he debating how to let Louis know he actually was still uncomfortable?  Was he trying to figure out how to best let Louis down?  Harry always had taken his time when responding to people, he wanted to be sure to say just the right thing, but he took even longer with Louis.  Louis didn’t mind.  It was always worth the wait.  He just wished Harry would have some compassion for his nerves.

“I may have been okay with you touching me for awhile now but didn’t know how to tell you,” Harry whispered.

Louis blinked and squinted his eyes, as if that would help him think clearer.  “I’m sorry, what?”

Harry bit his lip, the one that Louis had often dreamed about kissing, before he said, a little louder this time, “I never knew how to tell you that it would be okay if you touched me.  I didn’t know how to come out and say that I didn’t want anyone to touch me, but I wanted it from my best friend.”

Louis felt a tear slide down his cheek.  He didn’t think he was capable of crying more, but apparently he was.

“I wish you would have.  So this is okay?  Like, cuddling you like this?  It doesn’t make you uncomfortable or needing space or anything?”

Harry shook his head.  “I think I might have slept better, actually.”

“Harry,” Louis whispered.  Harry had just done a really hard thing.  Louis could too.  He swallowed hard and once again squeezed his eyes shut.  Not seeing his perfect best friend in front of him while he was making this confession had to make it at least a little easier, right?  “I’m kind of in love with you.”

Louis held his breath, waiting for Harry’s reaction.  What he wasn’t expecting was a relieved giggle.

“Oh thank fuck, because I’m totally in love with you too.”

Louis’ eyes flew open.  “Wait, seriously?”

Harry raised his hand and softly stroked Louis’ cheek.  Yeah, he was definitely crying now, but it was okay.  Harry always knew he cried easily when he was happy.

“I’ve been in love with you for as long as I could remember.  I just had to come to terms with what that meant for me and what I was comfortable with in regards to...well...everything.  I’m still figuring it out, but this?  Yes.  Definitely okay with this.”

“Please say you’re also okay with me kissing you, because H?  Your lips are beautiful.”

Louis felt like his heart was beating out of his chest and he had to focus on breathing as slowly as possible so he didn’t hyperventilate.

“You better kiss me right now or I’m going to go out and find me another boyfriend who will.”

“I hate you,” Louis said on a laugh as he leaned in and finally did what he’d been wanting to since he was fourteen.  His lips captured Harry’s and it was a little messy, a little sloppy, and damn perfect.  When they pulled back to breathe, Louis asked, “Boyfriend, hm?”

Harry rolled his eyes.  “If you don’t want to be my boyfriend then that’s too bad.  I’m still calling you that and texting your sisters to let them know.”

Louis’ cheeks hurt he was smiling so wide.  “I’ll hire a plane to write it in the sky, if you’d like.”

“Oh, good.  That’s exactly the kind of subtle romanticism I’ve been waiting for.”

“Awesome.  I’ll get on that in the morning.  For now though, I’d like to kiss you some more.”

Louis felt warmth all the way down to his toes.  Maybe he didn’t need a room at his mom’s anyway.  He really was already Home right here in Harry’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave kudos, as they help poor, starving fic writers to keep writing, and even better are nice comments! :D I will also pledge my undying devotion should you choose to reblog the fic post you can find [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/162900617138/let-me-make-it-better-by-lululawrence-for).
> 
> Interested in helping support charities with fanfic? If you are, I could write a fic for you! Check out the info [here on Tumblr](https://1dfanworksforcharity.tumblr.com/post/174494969280/1d-fanworks-for-charity-auctions-for-lululawrence).


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